That's What She Said
by katxopixie
Summary: Tony introduces a new American expression to Ziva, and McGee becomes the source of many jokes, but he'll get the last laugh. Rated T for, unsurprisingly, lots of That's What She Said jokes.


**Here's something I have had floating around in my head for a couple weeks. Humor comes naturally to me in everyday conversation, but when trying to write it in a scene with characters, I often have a hard time. So here it is, my best. Hope you like it.**

"McGee, where's the list of possible suspects in the Jenson murder investigation? I thought I asked for that on my desk half an hour ago!" Gibbs commanded, walking through the bull pen area. It was a stressful day- a double homicide in Norfolk and three ongoing investigations elsewhere- and the boss was already on his sixth cup of coffee, despite it being only one PM.

Timothy looked up from the phone records he had on his monitor, his mind still addled from the excessively large number of phone calls this man had made in the past month.

"I'm sorry, Boss, but you know… the longer it is, the harder it gets and you just can't finish in half an hour!"

Gibbs walked away, and just as he was out of earshot, Tony started laughing hysterically. "That's what she said!" he exclaimed.

McGee rolled his eyes at his partner's immaturity. "It's not that big a deal."

Confused, Ziva asked, "Who's she? Abby?"

"Not if you're talking about her and Probie!" Tony said, cracking up even harder. "Look at him! McMind-in-the-gutter over here is turning bright red!"

It was true, Tim's ears were becoming a deep shade of scarlet. "I didn't mean to say it like that."

"I am lost. I thought we were talking about phone records," Ziva asked, a bewildered expression on her face.

Tony turned to her, realizing the opportunity to introduce her to a new American expression. "It's a double entendre. The 'She' isn't a real person."

"Then who is 'she'?"

He paused to think. "Imagine it like instead of me saying 'that's what she said', I was saying 'that's what she said in bed'."

A moment passed, then a grin appeared on the ex-Mossad officer's face. "You're right, anything Abby knows about long she certainly didn't learn from McGee here."

"Come on, you guys, you're making this harder than it has to be," McGee said, before realizing he had made another slip of the tongue. Before he could retract the statement, Tony was laughing again.

"That's it, I'll be in Forensics if anyone needs me."

"So, when things get hard, you go running off to Abby?" Ziva called after him, seizing the opportunity to make another joke.

"I'm pretty sure she has a rule against that stuff during work hours but you can give it your best shot!" Tony added. The two laughed again as McGee walked away more quickly.

"And bring me back a large coffee from the machine!" Tony called.

X

McGee walked into Abby's lab, annoyed and dismayed at the immaturity of his co-workers. While he expected such nonsense from Tony, Ziva has never been one for sexual jokes… but as soon as he thought that, he realized that if Ziva can slip sexual references into her conversations with Tony, she's bound to be good at making she-said jokes. After all, the first thing she ever said to Tony involved phone sex.

"Palmer, you've been coming in and out enough already, you think you could wait? I'll be finished when I'm finished!" Abby called out when she heard McGee go through the automatic lab doors. She turned around. "Oh, it's only you."

"What's Palmer been doing in here?"

"He's having me analyze some tissue samples and he needs the results right away, but he's been riding me for the last hour and he really needs to just get off my back."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, I guess Tony and Ziva have you doing it, too."

"What?" Abby asked.

"They've been that's-what-she-said-ing me all morning, and now you're in on it?"

"What have I done?"

"Coming in and out? Finished when you're finished? Riding you? You're just spitting double entendres at me."

Abby paused, then laughed. "I totally didn't realize I was doing that! You're right! It's totally what she said!"

"It's not funny! I have to watch everything I say around them. Tony's bad enough, but Ziva's really making it hard, uh, I mean difficult. See? It comes out unintentionally! Wait, I mean- Augh, this is impossible!" McGee exclaimed.

"Try making what they say into a double entendre," Abby suggested.

He thought. "That's actually a really good idea. Thanks!"

"See you later. Don't forget, you can always come down here if you get yourself into a hole again."

"Shut up."

X

Tony sat at his desk, playing around with some paper clips. Ziva was across the bull pen. Both lay in wait for McGee to come back upstairs so they could make more jokes.

He came into the room and walked towards Tony's desk with a tiny container of coffee. Setting it down on the senior agent's desk, McGee had a small grin on his face. Ziva watched from her desk.

Tony picked up the beverage. "This is too small. What can I possibly do with this?" His face fell- it only took him an instant to realize his mistake. Now it was up to McGee to do whatever he wanted to. Tony cringed, waiting for the joke to be made.

A full-blown smile appeared on McGee's lips. "That's what Ziva said," he began, "in Paris."

**Please rate. Please review. I have another humorous piece I may make into a new story- that is, if you guys like this one.**


End file.
